1537: MFC Chicken "Solid Gravy!"
Okay boys and girls, I’m done with playing nice here. I have previously extolled the virtues of MFC Chicken Music For Chicken to you, the 1537 Album of the Year for 2012* and it has come to my attention that some of you have not rushed out and bought it yet, even though it has a track on it called ‘Love (Is Gonna Fuck You Up)’. Jeez, don’t make this harder than it needs to be, this really doesn’t need to become a pearls-before-swine situation. Just give in to the chicken and become a groovy MFC-er like me!
New release Solid Gravy! is the perfect excuse to discover precisely what has had me frothing at the mouth, twitching below the belt and playing air sax. I do warn you though that this time around these chicken chaps have gone for some rather, umm spicy sauces. Take genius opener ‘Chicken ‘Bout You’ for example, the needle hits the groove (baby) and we’re thrown straight into a 1950’s style spoken radio advert over a driving beat for, well, chicken**. I’m sure it’s just an innocent advert for chicken and I, sinful unworthy that I am, am just projecting my own rapacious lust onto it without any just cause.
"At MFC we gently hand-knead all of our fine, firm batter and we always rub our specially marinated secret sauce all over each breast, leg and thigh, which means every morsel is sure to be moist and tender when you bring it inside."
It’s just me isn’t it? Nevermind, surely the next track ‘Pocahontas’ must surely be a history lesson, set to a jive-tastic beat? or maybe even an homage to the eponymous Disney heroine? Ahh, no. It turns out that ‘Pocahontas’ (best track on the LP for me) is a rocking ode to the dangers of sending a nude picture to an acquaintance on the internet. It makes me laugh as much as it makes me rock – no mean feat at all. This is so perfect that resisting the urge to quote every single line is MFC hard. So I’ll content myself with some highlights:
"Hey Pocahontas I met you online
I sent you an email when I lost my mind
You’ve seen me with nothin’ but my chicken in my hand
For all I know you could be a man
Hey Pocahontas I met you on the net
I sent you an email on a stupid bet
You’ve seen me with nothing but my birthday suit
Why did I do it? That was not astute"
What can I say? I’m in love. Not quite to the point where I’m going to send them a nudie picture, but pretty damn close. It almost gets even better with ‘(Get Outta The) DJ Booth’, an even more rockinger ode to chicks with a bad taste in music.
Let’s face it there isn’t a bad track, or even an average track here. Again just like Music For Chicken the sound is a driving 50/60’s rock, plenty of great guitar, raking sax and always that beat, the band just sound so tight throughout and whilst this is a frequently very amusing album, Solid Gravy! came to rock you and make you move, rather than laugh; MFC get the balance just right. Hell, we even get another sweary song, ‘Horseshit’ this time. Solid Gravy! has a slightly lusher sound than its’ predecessor, I assume it was self-produced as no-one is credited as producer here. Towards the end of the second side we get a stylistic diversion or two, the downtown Joe Meek style of ‘White Leather Boots’ – just listen to that yearning! We also get the queasy Meek-esque ‘M.F Sea Chicken’, where Reverend Parsley gets to strut his keyboard chops amongst some appropriate sound effects and blistering guitar licks.
For the sake of common decency I won’t even touch the rather excellent ‘(Show Me The) Gravy Baby’, since the levels of sexual depravity would probably smash my Prude-ometer and crack my safety goggles^, but I’m sure you get the picture. The fun level never dips below ecstatic for me and maybe that is the key word here, just like it was for the first album – fun. I collect plenty of music that twists my mood this way and that, plenty that makes me think and rage, occasionally. With Solid Gravy! MFC Chicken, once again, make me grin from ear to ear and attempt improbable made-up dances. You can’t underrate the importance of a bit of fun.
Oh yes, no MFC Chicken LP could possibly be complete without a new dance for all of us cool kids to try at home. We got the ‘Laundromatic’ last time and this time we get the ‘Voodoo Chicken’ (‘Well people always ask me how I get my kicks / Without using drugs or scoring chicks’^^), the instructions are a little vague but, never fear, I have my own rather vigorous frugging routine – I can’t give away any of my real choreography secrets before the Chicken Dance Championship in December, but let’s just say I’ve been working on a modified watusi, with extra flapping and a dragged left leg. I’m hoping to retain my title.
Buy this record, on beautiful 140g vinyl, and you will have a guaranteed 98.75% chance of never being more than momentarily sad, or bored ever again. True story^*.
P.S – I would like to point out that my judgment of this LP may have been heavily swayed by the fact that these gentlemen put my last review on their Facebook page.
*even though some of the big record companies were offering muchos $£ to go for their acts – integrity and hilarity won out.
**Chicken – a Solid Gravy! users guide: Chicken is a rather flexible term, derivation unknown, used to denote ladies’ charm parts, a gentleman’s staff, ladies of purchasable propriety and probably three others I’m too naïve to grasp (although grasping one’s chicken in public can lead to a fine these days, or so I’m informed…). The word ‘chicken’ is sung 41 times on Solid Gravy!
^never attempt to review anything this racy without the appropriate safety equipment. An anti-chicken suit is mandatory here.
^^any band who uses the word chicks more than I do, even, deserves huge bonus affection points.
^*not legally binding, frugging may go up as well as down, please consult your local council to ensure you do not exceed locally agreed groovy-osity levels.